I’m sure most of us have seen the 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy. While some who aren’t into BDSM think that’s really how things go in the lifestyle, many of us know differently. Let’s be honest, these movies get it wrong in many places. However, it has brought the subject of BDSM to the table. It has opened the door for everyone, regardless of their lifestyle to discuss something that many see as taboo. We’re just now beginning to move into a place where we can take an honest look at sexuality, desire, and consent.
Consent is extremely important to any bondage or sensory play. It might not seem like those of us in this lifestyle have many limits, but, when issues of pain and power come into play, the core of the situation is about safety and trust. So when getting with a partner, it’s important to discuss what you will and will not allow aka your limits.
BDSM and Limits
BDSM includes a wide range of different kinks or sensory play. From blindfolds to ropes, spanking to subtle touch, there’s a lot to be covered in this lifestyle. While it can be very exciting to explore all of this, the first step is to ask, are you ok with this? May I spank you? Would you like to be blindfolded? May I bind your wrists? All of these questions and more need to be asked before any play starts.
It’s important to understand that consent doesn’t stop with the first yes. So let’s say your partner has given you the ok for a spanking. Now you need to create a safe space to explore how far they would like to indulge. Asking questions like, “Would you like me to spank you like this?,” and “Are you ok with this many swats?” really brings the important conversation to the forefront and make exploring the kink easier.
Remember that intimate situations can sometimes bring anxious feelings and pressure. If you get a sense of hesitation, don’t push the kink. It’s important that you don’t pressure your partner to do something they aren’t comfortable with. Honour your lover’s boundaries and allow them to open up naturally.
BDSM Safe Word
Having a safe word in bondage play is a key component in any dominant/submissive relationship. A safe word is something that one would say when they want to immediately end the sexual play. Another great method is to use the traffic light system. Just like on the streets, green means keep going, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. Always listen and let your partner determine the pace and depth of the play.
Consent is the central component of all forms of intimacy. Trust is also important. Essentially, you give up your power and surrender to another in BDSM. With this, you open up to new feelings and experiences. You also open yourself up to healing.
If you’d like to know more about bondage, consent, or kink, feel free to reach out. I love to share my experiences and hear others in hopes of us both reaching deeper levels of intimacy.
Explore and let go by giving me a call.